Dreaming has always been a really important aspect of my life. There's this intimate nature to it because no one else can ever see it, all anyone can ever have is a description of it. In that same vein, it's lonely. I have a lot of dreams I don't talk about. And I'd like to believe it's because I'm ✨️quiet✨️ and ✨️mysterious✨️, but the truth is that I don't actually think people care to hear about the exciting, sometimes horrifying, adventures I go through at night. To me though, I love hearing about people's dreams! Everyone has different aspects and experiences that make even common dreams interesting to me. And everyone has a different relationship with dreaming.
I hold a lot in. I'm observant and anything I see, hear about, or imagine can make an appearance at any time in any way. Because of that, at a certain point I made a concerted effort to manage my intake and understand that I am extremely sensitive to the horrors of humanity.
I used to have nightly vivid nightmares growing up. I took it upon myself to figure out how I could alter my dreams and take the fear out of falling asleep on my own. I realized that a lot of dreams presented the way that I predicted they would. Like if I believed that there was a man with a knife hiding somewhere, without fail he'd jump out to attack. Instead of being afraid and therefore getting stabbed, I would 'riddikulus' the situation. Like the Harry Potter spell, I would make the situation funny or give myself the advantage, empowering myself to overcome the fear. Maybe instead I was just a secret agent and had mad disarming skills with which I could incapacitate him. Maybe the whole vibe was changed and the knife became flowers, maybe it was actually a boy I liked. Etc etc.
So yes, I am a soft baby, but I have good enough reasons.
No comments:
Post a Comment