1. Training at work: I have finally been getting trained in all the new tasks I was hired for with my last promotion. It's exciting because some of it is what I've been wanting to do since I was initially hired. The realization though is that it's only a small percentage of what the job is. It's a lot of responsibility overall. And while I don't mind that, I've been grappling with the leadership aspect. Because of my seniority lots of people ask me lots of questions on the daily. It gets overwhelming sometimes because everyone is so new. The imposter syndrome gets overwhelming too. I always feel so lacking and like everyone can see how bad I am at it all. Maybe someday that will subside.
2. Starfield: Still have been playing a lot of Starfield. It's been my thing to veg out with after work. Even if most of the time I get an hour in and fall asleep on the couch with the controller in my hands. I've still been enjoying it, bugs and all. There's plenty I could rant about improving, but for newly released content, I can work with it. I haven't used the new game + feature yet but the temples are rubbish.
3. Cleaning: I've been trying to keep up with regular cleaning around the house but there's always more and you constantly have to do the same shit over and over. I've also been trying to get some deep cleaning out of the way. I wish I could find a way to maybe enjoy it? Find something about it that doesn't make me feel resentful that I was born. Like I have to do it to feel any sense of calm. With the changing seasons it's important that anything I can do to help myself mentally feel ok, I must do it. But FUCK, I hate cleaning so much!
4. Music: There were a lot of musical moods this month. I feel like october is always a mishmash with the change in weather. My musical focus was mainly on working with my 'chaotic cottage' series. The concept is that my dream in life is to own a cottage deep in the redwoods that is small and quirky but all mine. The playlist is an expression of the freedom I'd have to be fully myself in all its forms. The playlist is slightly based off Hannah Lee Duggan videos from youtube. Just the cottagecore vibe with DIYs but also just the chaos of it. Anyway, I also worked on some seasonal playlists. Some autumn vibes but I don't know if I should condense what I have or expand into multiple playlists. I worked on my halloween specific playlist too. I am incredibly intrigued by the daylists that spotify generates as well. I've gotten some fun ones this month, like: Brunch Roller Skating Sunday Afternoon, Light Academia Violin Thursday Evening, and Surf Crush Movie Monday Night. Soft Floaty Saturday Evening is super accurate though. I think the daylists are a fun idea, despite it being weird that it seems to know what I listen to when.
5. Dreams: I've been doing a bit of a deep dive on my dreams this month, as you may or may not have noticed. It's kinda fun to relive some of them. My dreams inspire me to write sometimes, especially this time of the year. Maybe the deep dive, when continued, will bring more insight. Mostly it's just fun time spent re-examining my mind from some more povs.
6. Autumnal vibes: Sometimes I remember that being an adult is keeping the joy alive by doing traditions and partaking in seasonal activities. I ate a bunch of apples with caramel dip, bought an apple cinnamon candle, pulled out all the blankets to the couch, and switched out the summer comforter for the winter one. It started raining again and I was so excited. The moody grey days are my favorite. They always make me want to chill in bed all day though. So when my period hit, I did. Just watched studio ghibli movies while I went in and out of sleep, clutched my heating pad, and ate 'birthday cake' mini chocolate bars.
7. Binge reading: I didn't read many books but when I did, I binged. I read an alien cowboy novella, reread one of my favs (most of the way), and started a hockey romance. I need to finish the last one. I got half way, loved it the whole time, and then just haven't picked it up since. I don't know why I dropped it other than it's long.
8. Making Zuppa: It's finally autumn which means it's soup season! It's just funny because I have made my favorite, Zuppa Toscana, three times already this month. I made it once because I was craving it, once for a soup potluck, and once as my dad's birthday request. I could eat this soup for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and I did. It's main ingredients are potato, italian sausage, bacon, and kale, and it's so delicious.
9. Trying to go to bed but then missing my bedtime by a long shot: Yeah, I don't know how I do it. It's been rough this month for this reason. I've been so tired hours before that I want to sleep but I keep myself up to go to bed on time. But, SURPRISE, its an hour or two after my assigned bedtime and my eyes refuse to take the sleep bait. I try to fudge my alarms to get a bit more sleep, but I just need to really crack down on getting to bed when my bedtime alarm goes off.
10. Family drama: I never thought I had any family drama, but I thought about it this month and I guess I do. I don't really want to talk about it but I've realized some things about some people. And I've started a journey to accepting the situation as it is. I just worry others may realize the same things far too late to course correct. But that's none of my business...
Top 5 Songs of the Month
1. Funny Thing - Thundercat
2. Passionfruit - Yaeji
3. Homegirl - Sabrina Claudio
4. Floating - Alina Baraz, Khalid
5. Mrs. Officer - Lil Wayne
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